Cathy Armstrong MS, LPC-S, RN, Fellow NBCCH Tel: (361) 688-8200
"Be devoted to one another in love. Honor one another in love. Honor one another above yourselves."- Romans 12:10
- What if you BOTH knew that can can create new possibilities?
- What if you were BOTH 100% committed to change and had to keep an open mind?
- What if you BOTH had to attend with an open mind, a positive attitude and and open heart?
- What if you BOTH were willing to stop blaming the other person?
- What if you BOTH stopped having to be right and have the last word?
- What if you BOTH could have a vision of how you would like your relationship to be like?
- What if you BOTH looked at the part you BOTH play in the problem
I provide marriage and couples counseling to people who are feeling stuck and discouraged in their relationships and are looking for ways to save the relationship. I work with couples that are seeking to create more fulfilment and deeper intimacy. I provide counseling in my Corpus Christi office and via telephone and zoom. Learn to accept a different point of view. You do not have to fight or break up over your partner having a different opinion Learn to be respect, non reactionary, kind and compassionate when you do not agree with your partner. Learn to support and love one another with kindness.
Relationship Warning Signs, Take the Test:
True or False Do Your Or Your Partner Have:
- Negative Thinking, Fault Finding, Pointing the Finger
- Problems Becoming Easily Frustrated With Your Partner
- Issues Becoming Defensive and Do Not Know Why
- Trouble Opening Up, Saying What is On Your Mind
- Issues with Gaslighting
- Issues with not being loved, heard or respected enough?
- Have to have the Last Word
- Arguments when told, "NO!"
- To Be Right and will do Paybacks, becomes spiteful and vindictive
- A Lack compassion or empathy towards Partner
- Problems with being Judgmental or Critical
- Controlling, Demanding
- Problems with Yelling, changing the truth, manipulation, or Name Calling
- Anger problems Telling Partner they are Crazy or Paranoid
- Problems with Self Control, Emotional Regulation, Overreacting
- Codependency, Jealousy, Control, Fear Problems
- Trust Issues
- Sexuality Concerns, Pornography Issues, Prostitution
- Infidelity, Cheating Problems
- Problems with Honesty, Loyalty, Being Truthful
- Lack of Communication and Intimacy
- Problems Failing to Accept Your Actions
- Problems Being Manipulated, Having to Always Win, Have the Last Word
- Alcohol Abuse, Substance Abuse, Addiction Issues
- Problems with Family of Origin, Trauma, In Laws
- Parenting or Blended Family Concerns
- Anger Problems, Domestic Abuse, Violence
If you answered true to any of these you might be in the Red Zone and counseling might be helpful.
- Identify your Purpose With Your Partner
- Clarify what is truly is You Want your relationship to look like
- Identify what a Healthy Relationship Is and Is NOT!
- Look at your Triggers and Emotional Blocks
- Look how the subconscious mind takes over and how reactive You become
- Identify the part you Both Play in the Fights and Arguments
- Be Accountable for the Part you plan and Be Responsible for Your OWN Behaviors
- Stop Pointing the Finger with Blame, Use effective and healthy relationship tool to Communicate
Break Toxic Patterns
Narrative Therapy is a way to move away from the Negative by learning to describe your problems in narrative form, then helps you to rewrite the negative part of the story. By acknowledging that problems do not define people but problems are something we have as individuals you learn to look at problems from different points of view. The methods help you explore conceptions and behaviors as you gain insight to facts that create issues for you and your partner. You find new ways to look at problems with a different point of you, dealing more effectively with your problems, as you effectively rewrite the Narrative of Your Relationship.
- EFT or Emotionally Focused Therapy was developed by Dr. Sue Johnson and explores and expands emotional responses and seeking to create a secure and closer bond between the couple. Each partner leans to reposition their stance during interactions, allowing new possibilities for the couple to that their interaction are beneficial which builds a closer and stronger a partnership. There are three different stops of EFT: identifying the main issues of concern, understand how negativity increases conflict, having the therapist help you identify the fears and negative emotions, understanding how reframing is the key to understanding each others needs. The second step includes: allowing each partner to voice their individual needs and concerns, understanding how your own negativity and hurtful responses can increase conflict. When you are not being accepting of your partners needs and when you show a lack of compassion for your partner, you are failing to validate your partners' needs and emotions. When you learn how to feel safe to be yourself and express yourself with kindness and compassion towards your partner you too will learn to voice your needs and emotions without conflict. The third step teaches you communication skills so that you can discuss old issues without conflict and learn to self-reflect and together build new solutions. Learning to apply these tools and techniques to a variety of situations and making them a part of every day life outside the therapy setting.
- Positive Psychology This method of couples therapy places emphasis on creative positive emotions, character strengths, and constructive points of view to teach that happiness comes from a variety of mental and emotional factors helping you identify happy moments rather that being stuck and repeating the unhealthy cycle of those moments in retrospect. If you feel that the negative emotions and reactions are overriding the positive ones in the relationship, a simple technique can make a big difference. You will learn to live in present, not the past that creates destruction and sabotages the relationship and yourself, learn to liberate yourself to experience joy. Stay in the present, not going through the trash can looking for old hurtful and unneeded pain that stops you from going forward. Create joy, happiness, with ease. This does not mean ignore the problems, but instead of focusing on trying to "fix" all the things that you see as "issues," start building on the things you see "as a positive." Focusing on the positive is a great practice to incorporate with other techniques to rebuild your relationship. Learn to connect with your partner by strengthening the relationship and avoiding harsh criticisms and judgements, you show positivity and give hope to the relationship, it allows an opportunity for your partner to do the same. It is our perception of the problems that create our own unhappiness and dis-ease, many times. Do you look at the cup half empty or half full? Learn to identify your emotions as the arise and learn to journal, unplug, create new, learn to write about the experience you are having and go back and look at your journal entries the next day. In your journal, expand on these entries from the previous day. Learn to condition yourself to enjoy moments, stay in the present, allow yourself yourself to create new memories. By allowing yourself to stay in the moment, you are having a new experience. Remember, the only person's behavior that you can Control is Your Own!
- Gottman Method incorporates nine main components required to build and maintain a healthy and successful relationship. The nine components include: building love maps and learning about your partners hopes, joys, stresses, worries, and history. Communication of respect and admiration towards each other with fondness towards the other person, go toward your partner rather than away from your partner, being solution focused with positivity when conflicts occur, managing conflict in a relationship is learning how to disagree and not have the need to "fix all the issues." All relationships have issues form time to time. Making your dreams come true is about open communication where you talk freely about each others hopes, desires, wishes and dreams. Create shared meaning so that you are both on the same page and talk about visions, communication and values. Learning to build trust is the foundation for a healthy relationship. Committing yourselves to each means that you believe that your relationship is going to last forever.
You will be able to express your personal expectations about yourself, the relationship and your partner. Issues of responsibilities and selfishness will be explored.
- We will discuss healthy communication and explore how destructive communication can damage a relationship. Issues of sexual intimacy, sex addiction, pornography as well as expectations, communication, sexual appetite and pleasure will be addressed.
- Come work with me as we do Shadow Work together, Explore Parts Therapy, and Internal Family Systems.
- Identify how Core Wounds from Your Past haunt you and add more layers of pain, disappointment, and heartache.
Who Comes for Couples Therapy
I see many couples for relationship repair work that carry past hurts and resentment that started while dating, being engaged or even on their wedding day. Resentments and grudges continue with more layers of disappointments during pregnancy, childbirth, postpartum. Couples also have failed to talk about their likes, dislikes, have ineffective communication issues, problems with ongoing anger and resentment. There are issues with in-laws, disagreements about how to handle finances, spending allowances, they lack direction and have no insight to values or goals a and the bring unresolved issues with attention, sex, power and control, religious differences, extended family problems before they said the magic words, "I do." Most people marry thinking that the "red flags" they saw will go away after they get married. Wrong! I am here to help your strengthen your relationship and learn to get through life working, playing, praying, meditating, talking, and staying together.
Stand in strength and love being more and more committed to loving, honoring and respecting each other more each day!
- How to cope with stressors caused by work, schedule conflict, changes, transitions and other outside occurrences such as caring for an elderly parent or death of a loved one.
- How to keep your romance alive in marriage and continue to show each other each day how you love them more and more.
- How to identify Individual needs and Individual Expectations.
- How to incorporate the importance of touch, eye contact, intimacy, respect, acceptance, attention, affection, sexual needs, emotional needs, time together, spiritual and psychological needs of the relationship and each individual so that you do not drift apart.
- How to deal with anger, frustration, impatience, or lack of communication.
- How to resolve your individual or familial differences or conflict and learn about each other’s background and explore your family of origin. Cope with in-law issues as your strength as a couple grows stronger!
- How to identify the potholes in your current relationships and create your own vision and mission statement for your relationship.
We Do Not: Provide Counseling for Serious Mental Health Concerns, We Do Not offer Crisis Counseling, Medication, or Intervention. We do not provide counseling for custody or divorce concerns. I am not an expert witness in litigation issues. My couples work and relationship coaching sessions are not payable by MOST insurance plans.